Leo Ward Writings,

Lambeth

So much done, so much to do

Many doors close, even more open

Lessons of life have passed me by

Now its all about one at a time

My hearings improved

My vision too

I’m figuring out what I have to do

I thought angels were real

And they are

I wont make them take long to get me to par

Group speak

Not me speak

Not me all the time

Not just talking

Listening too

Piercing eyes

Piercing gaze

Why do I make it for me

The person wants the group to hear

Not just me to fear

Relax and unwind

Your body, your mind

And make it not all about you

Names, names, go away

They are for another day

The person, the soul

That’s what you’ll know

Until the government comes calling

No ones sending me messages

Is that loud and clear

It’s the fear, the fear

Don’t worry about listening

There’s nothing you’re missing

People walk around you

With their own lives to hide

But that’s just out in public

Clickity Click Clack

There goes the Tic tact

Bang bang

Like a vampires fangs

Give me what I don’t have

The energy I seek

Because I’m so meek

Who cares if its only one more week

Wrecked Words

MY LOVE

Handsome Boy Gentleman Bullshit

Be chill, be relaxed

Keep it in your head

Where you’ll make your bread

When you’re meant to be chill

To free others will

Smile broadly

In your head

Chill brev

FR

Keep it cool

You can

You’re always

Being recorded

You don’t know everything

There’s always something

But others know stuff too

The stuff that you do

So don’t bore

By grasping for more

When all it does

Is rain down mud

And stuck gets the duck

Being nice is not Obi Trice

People don’t need excessive space

Instead give them grace

And respect, you get

Not some holier than thou

I’m here to plough

The earth

Save all the sons and daughters

From which waters

When you’ll know this

You wont even notice

And they’ll be left at peace

They don’t need you

You’re not that smart

But you’re into art

So be creative

Don’t be sedative

This life you live

Is about what you give

Not take

And break

Everything is out there

There’s really not much to bare

Open your eyes

Look up to the skies

Relax and take a half

Or maybe a full

Whatever you must do

Siu

When your open there’s air

When your honest people notice you

When your vulnerable people care

People can see you

Things take a bit of time

Like this silly rhyme

I thought it was me

Everything everyone

The world was my oyster

That’s why I was so boister

Oss

The worlds clearer

And “Freedoms” nearer

I think I see the light

No more needs to fight

Paranoid through the void

You’re paranoid bro

You ho

Life is not a show

Righting the ship

After this trip

Can only be done

When theres just one

The most important thing in the world is to remain calm, in the face of all things, including this experience. If you’re not relaxed also then you’re agitated, so the two must always be in tandem. You must also not be hyper, because that indicates unpredictability and a lack of control. I’m not certain, but I’m pretty sure everything else is secondary. That means:

1. Its not about you

2. No one’s sending you messages

3. Keep your peace

4. Don’t disturb others peace

5. There is no wrong choices

1. Be Honest

2. Vulnerable

3. & Real

1. Don’t talk to yourself

Tattoo wise that may be a source of anxiety when I get out. No one cares though, other than the fact they are a bit dodge. But, it’s a case of delayed gratification. Do I want to rush a fix or actually earn it myself, clean up my own mess. To just whimper and fall at the first acknowledgement of someone possibly observing my tattoos would be to throw away everything I’ve been through. The first thing is to acknowledge myself that everyone sees them straight away anyway. Straight away they see them. They see me with them. Which is what I want. I want to be seen. The next step is my part in it where I have to open to be seen on a deeper level. Actual me. All of me, and whatever that means within that moment that doesn’t take away the peace from others. And that doesn’t mean ignoring them to let them be, it means making them comfortable with my presence. And that’s done through expression, not by hiding, mistakenly thinking you can be ignored. Cause remember, really, no one really cares, and people don’t automatically try to be judgemental. If your dark and stand offish and mysterious people will be weary, understandably. That’s why you have to be open, be yourself, cause you’re a good skin.

Wear and tear and dare

My friends do care

The gremlin hidden away

For so long

Thank god for all these songs

Happiness will be my virtue

Lets sit on the porch too

& oh my what a view

I thought I was proper validated

Simply, I was never hated

Except when I was

Well, I was the cos

tan, sin, omega

What has this experience meant to me so far, as night falls on the 10th day? It’s been full of ups and downs, with my opinion on it, in the moment changing frequently, though I always knew being in this system is for my own good. For so much of this I was trying so hard, trying to figure ‘it’ out so I could get out sooner. Once I figured out remaining calm in the face of everything is the key it was kind of like completing the circle, because it was the case from the start, to now, and forever. Everything else was necessary to figure out as well though. I need those skills to live, not just to get by. I was a shell that could shine, but it wasn’t a bright light, and in fact was more sinister. I’ve had to come to terms with a lot of badness in my life, from events in my past, to recently, and how I was being perceived. I’ve had time to grieve and attack myself, and while I will still always have those in my past, and to a certain extent will hold them with me, now is the time to move forward, and build on my own strength. This is not an easy journey though, and I will need to keep close to me the lessons I’ve learnt here, so as not to make any regrettable repeats in the future. Even if it only hurts me, that’s too much. I know now how much love was always out there for me, how much is out there generally. I also believe in Angels. I owe so much to so many, and for those that I’m lucky enough will be in my life going forward I just cannot wait for the future.

There's too many I owe an apology

Music is the time to let loose, dancing is the time to let loose, events for these are the time to let loose, that’s one of the reasons they’re there, why we have them, not in normal life, no one else is acting crazy, and they might want to, they’re putting in the effort, so why can’t you

Forever behind the 8 ball

The latest to the fall

There was always the call

But never receiving

Happy to be leaving

I wouldn't do it all again

To get back to then

The highest peak

For the subordinate freak

There was so much done

But mainly just more fun and fun

Its a feeling of unlocked

Like I've finally clocked

Can't speak to soon

Might be straight from the moon

I woke up screaming

As a young lad dreaming

Couldn't tell you what for

The darkness was all more

Alone in my house

More than a bit like a mouse

No tomes to scroll

Never forced to be stuck in my bed

Went and left for my head

Blessed, definitely never saw red

Surrounded by poets

For sure nobody knowd it

It was in The Irish wahter

My rich fawhdur

Made it ourselves

The only ones well

Family of arseholes

Only one went on the dole so

My uncle might be a knight

So it was always a fight

My best friends knew

They're all I need phew

But I've more in the books

I swear that's all it took

These are just words

Its the actions that count

Be Predictable